I'm finally getting around to finishing the 3 part update. Not sure who is reading but this is as close to a journal as I am getting so here it goes...
DOCTORS
Poor Lukey has been to a lot of doctors and has more to come. First off was a general check up with our beloved pediatrician, Dr. McKinney. (Sorry, Tiff, I don't think I can bring myself to surprise him with an unsolicited hug). He said he looks great but sent us for blood work and stool samples (yuk!). The blood work did not go well. Apparently, he has hidden veins. After trying twice at St. Luke's, they recommended going to Children's. Luke didn't even cry when they tried the first arm (which included lots of digging) but when they started prepping the second arm he started to cry. He never fought but it was pitiful. As we walked into Children's Hospital he started crying again. It was terrible but they were barely able to get enough blood. This made him afraid of very doctor we went to after that but he has finally learned that it doesn't hurt every time. His blood work came back fine but we discovered 2 parasites that have totally messed with his belly. He's all clear now but still healing.
We had an initial consultation with the hand surgeon. This is a specialist that people from all over the country come to. His initial thoughts were not encouraging. The X-rays showed that his radius is not just short, it is nonexistent. This doesn't bode well for surgical treatment. We will see him again next week at Shriners' and probably start with physical therapy to try to get some movement in his fingers and to teach them to move independently. If that works, they might consider surgery. He really gets along just fine the way he is. He can dress himself (although it is a struggle and it's hard to let him struggle), he can feed himself, open doors, ride his tricycle, turn pages, play with stickers. His fine motor skills are not that far from a child with typical hands. The hard things will be tying his shoes, doing buttons, etc. Right now, one of the biggest concerns for me is when he falls. Most people catch themselves with the heel of their hands. He catches himself with the end of his arm bone. It really hurts.
At the end of October, we will be seeing a pediatric dermatologist for a mole that the pediatrician is concerned about. He may have to have it removed. I find it almost funny that after all the research and preparation for his hands this little thing might be his first surgery.
LANGUAGE
This kid is absolutely brilliant! We have been home about 6 weeks and language is going so well! After coming home, we were sad because we had no one to translate his cute little stories for us (like his drunk beauty goat). We did ok using little bits of English and Mandarin to communicate basic need but it was hard to know what he was thinking. We tried having friends speak Mandarin to him but he won't listen or talk back. He just tells them "no". I think he knows he needs to learn English.
Now, he can tell us a lot. It's still a mixture of "Chinglish" but he really gets his point across. Today we had the best example of this so far. We went to Andrew's school and he told me that Luke's school (his orphanage) is bye bye. I asked if he liked his school. He said, "Yes." He went on to say, "Shen Shen at Luke's school. Jing at Luke's school. Yue Yue at Luke's school. Luke go bye bye on airplane, go home. Tao go bye on airplane. One, two go bye bye." I asked him if he likes his friend Yue Yue. He said, "Yes!" I asked him if he knew Yue Yue was coming home. He said, "Yes. Yue Yue guo lai (come here) on airplane." He said a few more things that I couldn't quite understand but this was such a blessing to get into his head a little about where he used to live.
OVERALL
We are head-over-heels in love with this little boy who has fit so seamlessly into our family. It's fun having a preschooler in the house again. It's also sometimes exhausting but that's just fine with us. Everyone is getting along very well and Luke is even transitioning into his room with Andrew. I'm sure we will hit some bumps in the road. I promise to be honest about the successes as well as the challenges. As always, thank you so much for all of your prayers!
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Update #2 - Pictures!
Waiting for candy
First movie...he screamed in delight!
Update #1
Hi, Everyone!
Some have asked for an update on our family. We have now been home for just over a month and so much has happened that I thought I would divide the update into a few separate posts so I don't overwhelm anyone (including me!)
Our homecoming was delayed a bit thanks to storms and airlines but after a short stay in Newark we arrived home late Saturday morning instead of Friday night. Many of our friends and family welcomed us. It was so much fun to introduce our little Lukey to so many!
The first few days at home can be described as extreme... Extreme exhaustion, jet-lag, laundry combined with extreme blessing...meals and gifts from friends, joy at finally being home together, love, sweetness, quiet.
BROTHERS
Then the honeymoon ended. Poor Andrew who had been the perfect big brother, positive, insanely patient, loving, suddenly hit the wall. Most of the adjustment really fell on him. He had to share his room, he went back to school 4 days after coming home and his little brother was messing with his stuff while he was at school. This is our child who needs sleep in a big way and he wasn't getting enough. The poor guy snapped. After almost a week home, he started crying in frustration and anger and then guilt for being frustrated and angry. We moved Luke out of their room and put him in a pack-and-play in our room. Luckily, we were heading into a long weekend in which Andrew was able to catch up on sleep and kick much of his jet lag. Andrew is learning that succeeding as a big brother doesn't mean he has to be perfect. He loves, teaches, protects, plays with and brags on his little brother and in turn Luke adores him! They are so funny together and an absolute joy to watch.
GOODBYES
The hard part of having such s wide age range of children is that the little ones have to say goodbye to the big ones. On our fourth day home, Andrew went to school. Luke really missed him. I think he still thinks that Andrew just rides the school bus all day! Just 10 days after returning from China, we moved Lauren into her dorm at Lindenwood University. It's only 40 minutes away but such a big change for us. When we left her, Luke kept asking for her so we had a Mandarin-speaking friend explain that she would be coming home often. A few days after that, Katherine went to school and he kept wondering where she was. Then we got to the hardest one. Luke helped Rob load his jeep. We had no way to tell him that Rob was leaving for a much longer time but I think he knew. He wouldn't say goodbye. He was tired of saying goodbye. It was tough. Now, every time Rob or Lauren calls home he says (in Mandarin) "Come to me! Come to me!" He sees Lauren regularly enough now that he trust that he will see her again soon. We will go visit Rob next weekend and Luke will be so happy! This is all a sign that bonding is going well and we are so blessed that he has such good relationships with his siblings.
BONDING
Anyone who knows anything about adoption knows that bonding is a big deal. It can make or break the heart of a family. When we brought Andrew home as a one year old, bonding was quick and easy. We knew that bringing home a 4 year old would be much different. We prepared ourselves for all the issues that could surround a child who spent 4 years in an institution. I want to be real with those who are reading our story and watching us and maybe contemplating adoption. I don't want to sugar-coat our story. That being said, Luke is such a joyous, loving, compliant, sweet-natured little boy who had bonded with his family beautifully. We are fully aware that challenges may arise as he becomes more secure and goes through developmental milestones but for now we are enjoying the bliss of life with Luke. Someone said to me that the ease of this process is just confirmation that this was God's will. I agreed but added, "And if it was difficult and heart-breaking it would still be confirmation
Some have asked for an update on our family. We have now been home for just over a month and so much has happened that I thought I would divide the update into a few separate posts so I don't overwhelm anyone (including me!)
Our homecoming was delayed a bit thanks to storms and airlines but after a short stay in Newark we arrived home late Saturday morning instead of Friday night. Many of our friends and family welcomed us. It was so much fun to introduce our little Lukey to so many!
The first few days at home can be described as extreme... Extreme exhaustion, jet-lag, laundry combined with extreme blessing...meals and gifts from friends, joy at finally being home together, love, sweetness, quiet.
BROTHERS
Then the honeymoon ended. Poor Andrew who had been the perfect big brother, positive, insanely patient, loving, suddenly hit the wall. Most of the adjustment really fell on him. He had to share his room, he went back to school 4 days after coming home and his little brother was messing with his stuff while he was at school. This is our child who needs sleep in a big way and he wasn't getting enough. The poor guy snapped. After almost a week home, he started crying in frustration and anger and then guilt for being frustrated and angry. We moved Luke out of their room and put him in a pack-and-play in our room. Luckily, we were heading into a long weekend in which Andrew was able to catch up on sleep and kick much of his jet lag. Andrew is learning that succeeding as a big brother doesn't mean he has to be perfect. He loves, teaches, protects, plays with and brags on his little brother and in turn Luke adores him! They are so funny together and an absolute joy to watch.
GOODBYES
The hard part of having such s wide age range of children is that the little ones have to say goodbye to the big ones. On our fourth day home, Andrew went to school. Luke really missed him. I think he still thinks that Andrew just rides the school bus all day! Just 10 days after returning from China, we moved Lauren into her dorm at Lindenwood University. It's only 40 minutes away but such a big change for us. When we left her, Luke kept asking for her so we had a Mandarin-speaking friend explain that she would be coming home often. A few days after that, Katherine went to school and he kept wondering where she was. Then we got to the hardest one. Luke helped Rob load his jeep. We had no way to tell him that Rob was leaving for a much longer time but I think he knew. He wouldn't say goodbye. He was tired of saying goodbye. It was tough. Now, every time Rob or Lauren calls home he says (in Mandarin) "Come to me! Come to me!" He sees Lauren regularly enough now that he trust that he will see her again soon. We will go visit Rob next weekend and Luke will be so happy! This is all a sign that bonding is going well and we are so blessed that he has such good relationships with his siblings.
BONDING
Anyone who knows anything about adoption knows that bonding is a big deal. It can make or break the heart of a family. When we brought Andrew home as a one year old, bonding was quick and easy. We knew that bringing home a 4 year old would be much different. We prepared ourselves for all the issues that could surround a child who spent 4 years in an institution. I want to be real with those who are reading our story and watching us and maybe contemplating adoption. I don't want to sugar-coat our story. That being said, Luke is such a joyous, loving, compliant, sweet-natured little boy who had bonded with his family beautifully. We are fully aware that challenges may arise as he becomes more secure and goes through developmental milestones but for now we are enjoying the bliss of life with Luke. Someone said to me that the ease of this process is just confirmation that this was God's will. I agreed but added, "And if it was difficult and heart-breaking it would still be confirmation
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